My little guy is 10 months already! The thought makes me want to celebrate, cry, and rewind time all at once! Motherhood is not something you can ever be 100% prepared for. Taking on this role and title has been the best thing to ever happen to me, but no matter how much I prepared, there is without a doubt more "unknowns" about motherhood than "knowns", if that makes sense. And there is NO ADVICE that anyone can give you that is guaranteed to work for you, and the overflow of information can be very overwhelming as it comes from EVERY direction. It is important to remember that this journey that is motherhood is uniquely your own, it will never be the same as someone else's, that is what makes it so beautiful and so scary all at the same time! Here is a short list of the "unknowns" that I have encountered in the first 10 months as Mom to my little boy. I look forward to looking back on these as time continues to fly by:
1. The Worrying Is Constant - All I do is worry! When my little guy is not with me or is simply sleeping in his crib in the next room, I worry like crazy. I try to keep my mind and body occupied with other things like catching up on bills, mail, laundry, cleaning, etc., but my mind always finds its way to worrying. It could be the smallest thing like "did I forget to clean his ears after his bath today?" or a bigger thing like "did I make sure his car seat clicked and give it two more extra tugs to make sure it was safe?". This constant worrying is my new normal. I am sure once this first year passes I might worry less, but I've learned it is just what happens and I need to find new ways to occupy my mind to keep it from going to the negative.
2. Washing Bottles Sucks - Why are there so many pieces!?!? When I registered for bottles before I gave birth, I chose Dr. Brown's bottles. My mom friends all recommended them. Now they may have recommended them, but baby boy did NOT like them. And ultimately it is his decision, right? We made a few trips to Target & Babies R Us to get various bottles to try out on our little man with different nipples. And wouldn't you know it, he decided that the fifth bottle we tried was the winner. Playtex VentAire Wide Bottle with a NaturaLatch slow flow nipple. I know, how picky, he must get it from his Dad. This bottle has 5 different parts and me, being the OCD personality that I am, has to scrub and sanitize every single part after every use! Now I know many other people have this problem because I know that Dr. Brown's has many small parts as well, but UGH, it really is time consuming when you calculate all the time that is put into bottle washing each week. I spend about 30 minutes per night washing these bottles, that's 3 1/2 hours per week! I could really use that extra time in my sleep schedule.
3. Moisturizing Is A Must - I blame the bottle washing above and constant hand washing for majority of my dry skin. My hands, at one point, got so dry that my knuckles were bleeding, even the knuckles on my fingers! I also got really lazy after showers and would skip the 5 minutes of moisturizing I would normally do and opted to guzzle down a cup of coffee before baby boy awoke instead. It really helps to buy a few bottles of lotion and keep it all over the house. I now keep bottles of lotion right outside my shower door, on the dining room table, and next to the kitchen sink.
4. So Much Stuff! - My husband and I recently admitted to each other that we "might" have a bit of a hoarding problem. I try to justify the problem by saying, "but remember that one time when we kept that receipt from 2009 and were able to get a full refund in 2012 because we still had proof of our purchase?" or "I might wear that neon green shirt when I go for that night time run that I said I would go on for the past 4 years". I understand that some things should be kept, some shouldn't, and some should only be kept for a short period of time, but we just haven't gotten around to tossing out the things that really SHOULD go. Having a baby does help you get more motivated to get rid of things because you start to see what really matters and what doesn't. But now those things that we are getting rid of are being replaced by tons of baby stuff (some necessary, some not) and an enormous amount of pictures and videos of baby. We recently had to purchase a 500 GB external hard drive for our computer so that we could unload all of our pictures and videos from our cell phones. The important thing is that we have short term goals on getting rid of the clutter, I just hope we can keep on track.
5. Baby Will Get Sick - I know that it is a reality that children get sick. We are lucky and blessed that our little guy has been relatively healthy and happy. He started day care at around 3 months old. Since he has started daycare, he has been sick with the flu, croup, and pink-eye. Prior to that we had doctor visits for jaundice, GERD, and eczema. What a trooper our little guy has been and we are so blessed that he has been able to kick a couple viruses. We've learned that you can't keep your little one from getting sick, but you can learn to recognize when your baby is "out of sorts" and be prepared for spontaneous doctor visits, minimal sleep, and lots of extra snuggles.
6. Baby Will Get Boo Boos - My baby boy has a big noggin'. As he has become more mobile, he seems to be using his big noggin' as a mode of discovery. He crawls up to most things and just loves to lead with his head first instead of reaching out with his hand to feel. He has "discovered" a book shelf and baby gate with his noggin, and many things at daycare as well. We've had to put some cool packs on a couple bumps and bruises, but nothing seems to deter him from continuing his method of discovery :) I have learned just to keep a few cool packs in the fridge and every cushion from our couch is now used as a buffer.
7. You don't need all of those clothes - There are plenty of mommas that dress their kids in the cutest little outfits every day that have matching socks, shoes, hoodies, headbands, etc. You go ladies (or men)! I am not one of those mommas. My baby boy is a little wiggle worm and has been from the get-go, getting him dressed is like me trying to fit into my high school jeans, the struggle is REAL. He also manages to get pretty messy. There are so many clothes that I have packed away that weren't even touched. The main staples for him have been fleece/cotton pants with stretchy waistbands, long-sleeve onesies, thicker socks with the grippers on the bottom, one fleece jacket, one winter hat, a couple pairs of shoes, and fleece zipper SLEEPERS. If I could get away with keeping him in a fleece sleeper everyday, I would. Unfortunately, the other parents at daycare dress their kids in normal clothes, I don't want him to be the odd one out. I just might try it one day, though, maybe we will start a trend
8. Your way is not the only way - I blame a lot of my behavior in the first four months of my son's life on HORMONES. Although I am sure that my raging hormones had a lot to do with the "my way or the highway" attitude I had, I know that a lot of first-time mothers just want things done the same way, their way! Sometimes my anxiety would really get the best of me when I would watch my husband, mother, brother, etc. do something with my baby differently than I did. I was always hovering or being an eagle-eye from across the room. I would say "he doesn't like that" or "he likes it better when..." or "maybe you should try this..". When my hormones chilled out, I chilled out. It is important for each person in your baby's life to formulate a relationship with them on their own terms. There will be plenty of things that I do differently than my husband, all that matters is that it works for us individually, and the relationship that we build with our son will be built around those defining qualities. So I have learned to sit back and let those around my son build their unique relationship with him by doing what is natural. It is very interesting to see how the way my husband calms our boy is so different from the way I calm our boy, but if we were to try each others techniques, it wouldn't work. It is important to remember that if someone is having trouble soothing, feeding, or dressing your child, they will ask you if they need help or want advice. So sit back and enjoy watching your baby make friends and build relationships.
9. Do you smell poop? - It is always lingering, that poop smell! It is funny how sniffing your baby's backside in public becomes acceptable and your new norm. Of course once you get your little one changed and all clean there is that lingering smell. You'll be diving into your salad at a restaurant and BOOM, it hits you, there is a dollop of poo on your wrist (how on earth did it get there?!) and sometimes your little one isn't even there and you smell it. Just don't start smelling random people's backsides and try to refrain from blurting out "Do you smell poop?!" at a dinner party, sometimes it is just better to leave things unsaid.
10. Dressing Up Takes On A Whole New Meaning and Time - Prior to baby, it could take me anywhere from 45 minutes to 1.5 hours to get ready, it really just depended on what I was getting ready for and how lazy I was that particular day. Dressing up and getting ready now is a race for me, can I beat my 15 minute record from the previous day and spend more time playing this morning? Being able to fully dry my hair is a huge accomplishment these days. My husband is already at work when I wake up to take my speed shower before baby wakes up. Sometimes he is already awake and just plays in his pack n' play while I rush through the shower. Gone are the days when I would wear makeup. I have to say that I really don't mind it. My skin is clearer, my hair isn't as damaged from the heat from the blow dryer or curling iron, I don't change in and out of five different outfits anymore, it really is nice to sport my new "Mom Uniform". This uniform consists of dark jeans (yoga pants on the weekends), a sweater, scarf, cute flat boots, a ponytail and if I am feeling really fancy some eye shadow and mascara. Have you ever tried to pick up a wiggly baby in high heels? Not fun.
I really could go on and on here. I would love to see how my list differs from another parent's list. What comes to your mind?
